ALCOHOL, DRUGS AND SELF-INDULGENCE

I have recently had a month-long visitor, someone I dearly love. One of the prior conditions of his coming to stay with me was that there was to be no drinking - I grew up in a household with an alcoholic parent and have no desire to repeat that experience. Needless to say, that rule was thoroughly ignored. My guest arrived roaring, falling-down drunk and pretty much stayed that way during his entire visit. He has now departed south for the winter and hopefully, he'll be less stewed while there.

The thing I don't get, despite years in Al-Anon (which taught me a lot about the families of alcoholics and very little about the psychology of the alcoholic him or herself), is how someone who readily admits to being an alcoholic can continue to indulge themselves in such self-destructive behavior all the while claiming that their addiction is a special case and that they can stop drinking at any time - but they never do!

This is a brilliant human being, absolutely blindingly so (again, my IQ is slightly higher but I am far less well-read and erudite) with a great deal of charm and good looks and potential. He dissipates it all, and his physical well-being, by quaffing all manner of alcoholic beverages to the point of stupidity!

My heart is sad for his pain, which he exacerbates greatly with his addiction - he cannot and will not contribute all that he can. It's tragic and heartbreaking and I'm glad he is out from under my roof because the stress on me was enormous.

And perhaps that is the worst thing about alcoholism and addiction in general - okay, if you want to drown yourself in an ocean of booze, go ahead and do it. But don't take innocent bystanders down with you as most addicts generally do!

Well, I wasn't about to drown and I wasn't about to be an enabler. He's gone elsewhere now and while I love him and miss him enormously, I'm in a state of absolute relief for myself and the peace and serenity of my home.