THIS JUST IN FROM THE HUBRIS DEPARTMENT!

Our president, The Lightbringer, has made a point of saying that when the Republicans (not if, mind you, WHEN) take over control of Congress, they will have to work with him!

Huh? It occurs to me that HE will have to work with US! Not the other way around. I'm just saying!

ZIPPY MAKES AN ASS OF HIMSELF!

Zippy the Faux President made an ass of himself in the Bret Baier interview on Fox News and in doing so, revealed that not only does the Emperor have no clothes, the Emperor doesn't know what the hell he is talking about! Some of the last honest journalists left in this country work for Fox News.

And no, Bill O'Reilly, I'm not referring to you, you pandering sycophantic son-of-a-bitch!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL Y'ALL!

And God bless us, everyone of us! Especially God bless the leftwing loons who are doing all they can possibly do to destroy this beautiful country. They need all the blessings they can get.

God bless Barack and Michelle Obama. Two of the most ill-prepared and incompetent humans ever to occupy the White House, surpassing only James Earl Carter, Jr. in lack of intelligence and class! I believe that the occupant of the Oval Office is a man with deeply seated feelings of displacement and disconnection from normal humans, and an absurdly elevated idea of his own importance and capabilities. Here's the memo, Mr. President. You are just an ordinary human, like the rest of us. You are also NOT our ruler, but rather our SERVANT and EMPLOYEE. I pray that his naive arrogance and her bitter disdain for our nation are both ameliorated by the love of God throughout this blessed season and throughout the coming year 2010. May the Holy Spirit visit their hearts and bring them peace and joy.

God bless Michelle Duggar and her husband Jim Bob or whateverinhell he's called, the randy s.o.b. who has kept her pregnant almost nonstop throughout their marriage. She just gave birth to her 19th child, a little girl who was months premature! What part of "keep your dick holstered you hound" does this man not understand? Yes, God wants us to be fruitful and multiply. But there's fruitful and then there is ridiculous. The Duggars are now in the realm of ridiculous, not to mention life-threatening danger to Michelle. Who, by the way, I find myself disliking - the long hair to her waist and the little girl, breathy voice. I always get the feeling with these endlessly pious Christian women that there is something rotten lurking under the surface. Call me a cynic; you'd be correct.

God bless Tiger Woods and his wife Elin. May their lives return to some semblance of order sometime soon, if only for the sake of those two beautiful little children of theirs. Tiger, my advice to JimBob Duggar applies to you as well. You took vows. Be prepared to keep them. Humble yourself before the woman you have offended so grievously. You may yet salvage your dignity and reputation, if not your marriage.

Left-wing loons of the chattering classes (Garofolo, Olbermann, Joy Behar, Chrissie Matthews) - just shut the hell up already! None of you knows what you're talking about and you display your ignorance so proudly! Does any of you have the ability to self-evaluate and realize that you are embarrassing yourselves? Boneheaded, mean-spirited dopey haters all of you!

I survived numerous health challenges during 2009 and am heading into 2010 with joy in my heart and hopes for the future. I wish the same joy and hope to all of you and will suspend blogging until 2010!

From me and from Sam the Wonder Cat (who has taken to sleeping at the end of the couch, on his back, with all 4 paws sticking straight up - what a beloved dweeb), all love and prayers for the coming Holidays and New Year.

THIS IS STARTING TO FREAK ME OUT!

Seriously, have you noticed how many of our Presidents are left-handed? Even the Usurper! What's up with that. I'm left-handed! Should I be President? Naw - I'm too freaking blunt for that. I'm not diplomatic enough. They thought GWB was a cowboy? Hah! I'm like hitting a block wall at 90 miles an hour.

A former (now deceased and it had nothing to do with me) boss once wrote on a letter of recommendation: If you don't want a straight answer, don't ask Gayle the question! I'd have us at war with everyone except Great Britain, Israel, Australia and some former Soviet "republics". Of course, I can deliver full sentences without the aid of a teleprompter. I have small, close set ears. Have we had any redheads in office since Thomas Jefferson? Hmmmm! Naw, I'm too damned old to run.

But I AM left-handed! And I'm told I give great gift! Prime Minister Brown would have gone home with something really, really nice after visiting ME. His wife too. Chintzy I am not.

THE MSM AND JOHN EDWARDS' BABY MAMA SAGA

Okay - where do you want to start?


Here's a man who:

1. Had to run for President because his first term as Senator was almost finished and he already knew he could not be re-elected, no matter how many dead babies he channeled.

2. Couldn't carry his own home state in the 2004 election.

3. Garnered what - 13 delegates - during a very lengthy and expensive presidential primary campaign in 2008?

4. Has a wife who is battling [probably] terminal cancer and 2 little kids at home. I'm not a fan of Elizabeth Edwards but she has been married to the Breck Girl for 30 years and at this stage of life, she certainly deserves his full attention.

5. Not only does Edwards deny that he's having an affair but persuades a 41-year-old married campaign staffer to take the hit - even to the point of having the baby momma move into the same gated community where his own family lives and his wife is OKAY with it?
Yeah, right!

And then we come to the final farcical denouement when he sneaks into the Beverly Hilton to visit his paramour and their infant child at 9-ish and leaves at 2:45 a.m. when he is spotted by 2 National Enquirer reporters and he runs into a service hallway bathroom to hide! Then he calls Security to come rescue him and wants the 2 reporters arrested but Security can't do that because THE REPORTERS ARE REGISTERED GUESTS of the hotel. Could this whole episode be any more stupid? No self-respecting sit com would permit a story line like that.

This hypocritical horndog just coincidentally has joined Rev. Wright, Obama's grandmother, Rezko and heaven knows who else under the Obama bad associations bus (a large but hardly exclusive group) and is no longer under consideration as a vice presidential running mate for Bambi. My question is - why was he or even was he under consideration and what does THAT say about the Obamamessiah's judgment or lack thereof!

And MSM goes merrily on its way, whistling loudly past the graveyard.

Just move along folks. Nothing to see here!

Finally, when NATIONAL ENQUIRER does better research and follow-up than the New York Times or the L.A. Times or CNN or any of the others, what have we come to as a nation? Dear merciful heavens.

FOLLOW-UP FROM MY FRIEND LAURIE, IN IOWA!

Where is the Iowa disaster coverage? (We take care of our own.)

Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? (We tend to think most of them are asses and don't even want their help.)

Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn't solved the problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks (and trailers) are? (We Iowans, otherwise know as "Iowegians" have neighbors who will put us up. No FEMA or trailers necessary.)

Why isn't the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago?

(We don't want to stay in Chicago... as we'll camp out and help our neighbors at or close to home. THEN we'll take care of our own needs.)

When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines? (Spike Lee doesn't care about all of us, "Crackers" in Iowa and none of us need him anyway, so it's a "wash" hahaaha.)

Where are Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks? (Iowans really don't think much of the Dixie Chicks, since they have been against the very standards we stand for. Seah Penn could come help when he has a few days to haul sand bags. Yeah, righty-o.)

Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big screen television sets? (*Note: There has been some looting reported). (For the most part... looting hasn't crossed most of Iowan's minds... too busy sandbagging and checking on neighbors.)

When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a "vanilla" Iowa, because that's the way God wants it? (Gov. Culver knows Iowans are busy and that they all know, "God helps those who helps themselves.")

Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of cannibalism?

(Iowans are too boring. They work and take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. No time for t.v. right now... besides the new Spears baby is what's most important to those media writers.)

Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people?

(Again.... we're all too busy to care. Have things to do, so let's "get 'er done.")

How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?
(Because we'll have our towns taken care of and on with our lives.)

End of story.

AL GORE WINS NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

Yawn!

The prize means little when you consider that it has also been given to one of the more murderous terrorists of the 20th century (Arafat) and the worst president of the 20th century (Carter).

Put it on your resume guys, if you must, but do not expect me to be impressed because the Nobel Peace Prize is meaningless when it is awarded to people who promote junk science, terror or just plain stupidity!

And speaking of Jimmy Carter - why didn't Wolf Blitzer challenge Carter's lies during their CNN interview? Why am I even asking this stupid question?

21 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT!

This has been around several times, but it definitely needs to be repeated.

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,Thomas Edison and A.G. Bell.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens,transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

20. You have to believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not OK to say 'Merry Christmas.'

Last, but not least:

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.