TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS!

Apparently the Brits think our president is a smart ass!

His code name with the British police, Scotland Yard and all other UK law enforcement agencies is "Chalaque" which is a Punjabi term meaning someone who is too clever for his own good.

Isn't it sad that our longest term ally feels free to label our President thus? Since taking office, the Fauxbamas have done their level best to alienate our two closest allies. Bibi Netanyahu made his position very clear while addressing Congress today (Zippy is frolicking in Ireland with Michelle Antoinette) and every word he said resonated with me. Giving the Queen of England an Ipod loaded with his past speeches was an act of incredible arrogance and hubris.

Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge looked appropriate and elegant today whilst greeting Michelle Obama who was inappropriately clad in a garish ensemble that was better suited to a high school girl, than a supposedly mature woman with two children. Who advises this dummy about her clothing?

It shouldn't matter, but she IS representing our nation abroad (and no that wasn't a smack at her substantial derriere).

IF THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW?

What would you do today, if you knew the world was ending tomorrow as some evangelical nutjobs are predicting (well actually, we'll find out tomorrow at midnight just how deluded they really are).

First of all, let me be very clear about two things: Hawkings is a horse's derriere and yet, given his health issues, I can almost understand why he is under the mistaken impression that there is no God. But he is wrong about that. Second, it won't be heaven to me if I cannot reunite with my departed animals in that place. Sam the Wonder Cat, as well as Boo and Rocky, have been major parts of my life's happiness and if they aren't there, it would be a major letdown.

As to what I would do. First I would tell all my family and friends how much I love them. In fact, within reason, I try to do that every day. Then I would spend the rest of the day playing with Buddy and Rusty and giving them the earthly love they so deserve and crave.

However, I very much doubt that the world is going to end tomorrow at midnight or anytime soon. Doesn't the Bible state that we will not know the hour of our ending? I'm just saying. There was no exception for a miniscule band of evangelical oddballs! But God loves them too.

INVOLVING THE CHILDREN

A discussion online has led to some serious thinking on my part about the Obama children and any exposure they may face during the upcoming election campaign (which promises to be a fairly nasty one).

Anyone with a pulse remembers the savaging doled out to the Bush twins as part of the generalized Bush Derangement Syndrome prevalent during almost the entire 8 years of George W. Bush's Administration. It was irresponsible, unwarranted and altogether offensive to most sensible, fair-minded Americans.

The girls were not part of either of their father's presidential campaigns other than a brief appearance at the conventions. But unlike the protection afforded Chelsea Clinton and before her Amy Carter, it seems the national media had declared "open season" on the Bush twins. Yes, they were older but equally yes - they were not involved in their father's campaign in any really active sense, other than being their father's daughters and supporting him and loving him in private.

Now the conversation has turned to the two Obama girls and the sense that some (not all) press members feel that the Obama girls are fair game since they will be accompanying their parents on campaign trips. My response to that is: Hell No!

Those two girls are and should continue to be protected from any kind of press intrusions into their lives. The fact that they happen to live (very temporarily one hopes) in the White House is incidental to their parents' campaign for a second (undeserved) term in office.

Now, here's my caveat! You knew there had to be one, didn't you? Their parents, like it or not, ARE fair game and should be caused to answer questions about why on earth a 10-year-old child has to be taken to Spain for her birthday, with an enormous entourage of hangers on and Secret Service protectors. And the Obamas should be held to account for the multitudinous vacations they have taken, the date nights that cost beleagured taxpayers a fortune (and who really believes in this enormous love affair they are supposed to be having?) The endless games of hoops, the golf outings the egredious lack of awareness that the extreme self-indulgence being demonstrated is highly inappropriate when people in this country are losing their life savings and homes because the economy has been so screwed up by this President. Those things need to be discussed, whether or not Zippy is willing or able to discuss them!

PRAYER REQUEST

Mark is going to Charlottsville, Virginia on 5/24 to have yet another brain surgery, this time with a gamma knife which is, I'm told, minimally invasive and which will deal with the new tumor which is about thumb-sized. The entire family will be there with him and I ask that you all join me in praying for this brave man and his stalwart and loving family that they have strength, healing and many future months of happiness.

Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop

Rumblings indicate that all is not well in the upper echelons of the Iranian government. Apparently Ahmadinejad has royally torked off the Ayatollah Khameini and, as you know, in that nation, religion trumps the secular every time.

I predict that Iran in the next domino to fall - and certainly with no help from our trembling, lily-livered President!

UPDATE: Apparently, I was a good prognosticator. Things seem to be going badly for the raving lunatic who is president of Iran. Read here.

AMATEUR HOUR!

Thanks to the "enhanced interrogation techniques" so decried by the liberal left and the Obama Administration, our pathetic president managed to take credit for killing Osama Bin Laden at long last.

However, ever since that event, this Administration has done nothing but bumble around, opening their mouths when they shouldn't (Joe Biden), revealing the contents of top secret briefings, delivering multiple contradictory accounts of the raid that removed a malevolent cancer from the face of this earth and generally snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!

Sometimes, keeping one's mouth shut is the best thing you can say! This is a lesson that the current Administration hasn't and won't learn.

In addition, the President turned his back on Debra Burlingame, sister of the Flight 77 pilot who died on 9/11, when she quite properly asked a question that the MSM is too lazy or too besotted (still) with Zippy and his minions to ask. Why is Eric Holder (an asshat of major proportions) still pursuing an investigation of the CIA for its actions to protect our nation? Osama - I mean Obama - refused to answer and walked away from her which was both churlish and rude!

Has there ever been a more bumptious president? Even Jimmah would show a modicum more class!

WHY I LOVE MY COMMUTE!

I drive 51 miles each way to get to work here in The District. At one end of the commute is my home with my two lovely kitty boys awaiting me and at the other end is an office full of lawyers who are also awaiting the opportunity to chew my guts out on a regular basis. How could you not LOVE the idea of traveling so far for such a daily treat!?

Today it was especially delightful - took over 2 hours because it was raining in Virginia, DC and Maryland. Nobody on the roads had ever seen rain in their entire lives and thus they were unsure of how to cope. Do you drive faster and send spray all over the other cars on the road or do you drive really, really, really slowly and tick off your fellow commuters? Both choices were made and it led to a right mess, let me tell you!

The idea of retirement looks more and more promising!

UPDATE

Osama bin Laden is still dead.

But how he got that way may be a matter of some small debate, according to this article.

Make up your own minds!

GOOD RIDDANCE!

Osama Bin Laden has been confirmed dead as of a week ago! There are lots of rumors swirling around but it appears fairly certain that he was killed in his home in Pakistan and that it wasn't any cave.

Pakistan, in the words of Ricky Ricardo "You've got a lot of 'splaining to do!"

This is a brilliant vindication of the strategy of General Petraeus and makes the George Soros funded goons at MoveOn.org look asinine for their full page ad published several years ago in the Wall Street Journal. Thank God he is moving to the CIA. I feel slightly safer already. We may have an ineffective failure as a President, but this at least was a great choice on his part.

How does it feel to be so damned wrong, you treasonous jerks?

WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS ROUND-UP

In the ladies' competition there was a lot of butt-ice collisions and in the end, the not-very-exciting but always reliable Miki Ando of Japan won the World Championship for the second time as a result of her very steady performance. The exquisite YuNa Kim of South Korea placed second. Our ladies didn't do very well, although Alissa Czisney did manage to eke out a 5th place finish. When is this young woman going to understand how remarkably talented she is and quit skating with a look of bewilderment on her face. Yes, dear, you DO deserve to be there! Miki's victory was a big shot in the arm for the beleagured nation of Japan.

THE BIG NEWS, the absolutely fantastic news is that Meryl Davis and Charlie White of the United States made history by becoming the first American ice dancers to EVER win the World Championship. And they did it by outskating in every way their off ice friends and on ice rivals, Virtue and Moir of Canada. The real thrill was the fact that there were TWO American pairs on the medal stand, since the team of Alex and Maia Shibutani of Canton, Michigan, trained by the same coaches as Meryl and Charlie and Tessa and Scott and yet skating in a completely different style than their training mates, placed third in the world in their FIRST World Championships. This brother and sister team are the real deal. They have the edges, the musicality, and the grace and strength to stand them well in coming years! You'll continue to hear good things about all three of these couples since they all are planning - at the moment - to stay in competition until the Olympics in Russia, three years hence.

All in all, it was a great championships.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS - CONTINUED

I've been watching the ice dancing short dance portion livestreamed on Icenetwork and am seeing something in my beloved ice dancers that is ticking me off, bigtime!

Lots of dark roots for a starter. DAMMIT you are competing in the WORLD figure skating championships. Get a touch-up ladies (and some gentlemen)! And if anyone should not have dirty skates or laces, it's ice dancers. It's the elegant discipline, you lazy people! I shouldn't be hearing your skate blades, nor should I be seeing "schmootz" on your skates. Did you know there's this thing called soap . . .?

HOW ABOUT LET'S JUST GET OVER OURSELVES?

Some blacks see racism in 'birther' questions

This was a headline found on Yahoo News! Some blacks see racism in their morning cup of coffee! Let's get this straight. You aren't a victim. You are responsible for your own life, for good or ill. You my black friend are more racist than anyone when you see race as a determining factor in every decision every person makes about every other person. It just isn't so. I work with a mixed bag of people. Do I disciminate against them or harbor ill will or secretly denigrating opinions of them because they are lawyers? Well, actually, yes, in some cases! But those opinions relate directly to the way THEY interact with ME and has nothing to do with the color of their skin, or even the fact that they are attorneys. And, trust me, none of this has anything to do with their race! I've met a few really bad white lawyers and I've met just as many horrendously bad black lawyers. Granted, dealing with that particular professional group can lead a gal to intense cynicism (not only can but does) but still, we have questions about Barack Hussein Obama II on various levels, most if not all of which have nothing whatsoever to do with the color of his skin. Remember, he IS also part white! Is it okay to discriminate against or denigrate him because of that? No, it's far more sensible (and accurate) to criticize Mr. Obama because he is an arrogant, preening, self-indulgent infant, with no skills at governing, a moral compass that appears to be set somewhere to the Left of Common Sense and a remarkable lack of spine! I don't like him because he doesn't act like an American! And on a good day, I encounter very few who do. But then I work in Washington, D.C.!

WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS

After a fairly substantial delay, the World Figure Skating Championships are taking place in Moscow. They began yesterday and will continue through Saturday. So far two champions have been crowned: Patrick Chan of Canada is the new Men's champion and from Germany, the Pairs champions are (I know I'm going to mess this up) Robin Szolkowy and Aliona Savchenko! I hope I got their names right because aside from my usual carps about dark roots and dirty laces (both of which they have been known to display - her, not him) they were remarkable in their programs over the two days of competition. The Chinese pairs team of Pang and Tong skated a remarkable, utterly dreamlike short program that left you uncaring as to what technical points had been ticked off the list, their program was so ethereal and emotional. I know - from a CHINESE pair! These two are engaged to be married and that feeling came through. But bottom line, the German pair is absolutely first-rate and they deserved their victory. The second place finish of the Russian pair was a surprise. They both competed with other partners in the past and have only recently come together. They were spectacular - there is no other word for their skate! However, my one caveat is that I believe they are coached by the odious Irina Rodnina, a nasty bitch if ever one has inhabited the world of figure skating (I don't even BEGIN to qualify for the title). She is the one, when competing, who changed male partners whenever one of them had romantic interests elsewhere. And when Randy Gardner suffered a serious groin pull during the Olympics, she attributed the pullout from competition of Tai and Randy to FEAR of facing her and her partner in the competition! Even if you think something like that, it is highly unpolitic to SAY it. Four-star bitch of all time, that's my opinion of her!

Patrick Chan is a delightful skater, sparkling eyes, great technique, wonderful personality on the ice, consistent and entertaining - the whole package. And I'm so happy for Canada. They don't get credit for the great skaters they produce nearly enough!

FROM THE WHO GIVES A SHIT DEPARTMENT

Barack Hussein Obama has finally, finally, finally released his long form birth certificate and I'm sure he has done so now to provide traction to Donald Trump's insane run for the White House. Given that we gift citizenship to the children of illegal invaders of our nation, there's no reason that we should continue to question his place of birth, except that the timing of the release is suspect, the long delay before the release is even more suspect (good forgers work slowly?) and no birth certificate on earth will make this empty suit in any way qualified to continue as President. He is unqualified, unprepared, unsuitable by both temperament and education (have we seen his transcripts yet?) to serve this Republic. He is a walking, endlessly prattling disaster! And the Republicans in the House are yet another passle of spineless wimps! The American people are becoming more and more frustrated and you know what happens when people are that perturbed!

Enough already. Trump needs to be shuttled promptly to the sidelines, if only for the reason that he is (a) stupid enough to think that W wasn't a great president and (b) because he hasn't performed his civic duty in some years. No, Virginia, the man has refrained from VOTING. This is an egregious fault and should in itself preclude his candidacy!

Let's get down to serious business folks, support adults and not ego-driven billionaires and stop letting the flimflam man in the White House distract us from what is really important!

UPDATE (might explain the 2+ year delay!):

The official website for Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital says that at the time of his birth should have been Kauikeolani Children’s Hospital. According to the website the name didn’t change to Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital until Kauikeolani Children’s Hospital merged with Kapi‘olani Maternity Home in 1978. So how could his official long form birth certificate that was generated in 1961 have the name of the hospital that wasn’t created until 1978?

The argument that it was just a new certified copy with corrected information, does not explain the ink smudges and antiquated typewriter fonts... with alleged original signatures.

W H Y ?

Would any sane person read the Wonkette blog? It's poorly written, not funny, although I suspect they thought they were amusing in a case of epic fail!

So why would anyone, left or right, pollute their minds with this crap?

HAPPY EASTER TO ONE AND ALL!

It's my favorite holiday of the year! A time of rebirth and renewal. And, in point of fact, I am feeling fairly renewed these days. Starting to take off the 40 pounds I gained from quitting smoking! I'll grant you - not the smartest diet I've ever tried but I started smoking again, temporarily! It's working and the next time I quit I'm going to befriend low calorie, low fat foods in a big way!

Looking forward to retiring altogether from working in The District and doing it soon. Life is too short to struggle through the commute - although I must say it has been delicious this week. Spring break, doncha know.

To all of my friends, family, readers, whatever - HAPPY EASTER AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!

QUERY . . .

Has the current occupant of the Oval Office ever uttered a truthful public statement in his life? Please provide an example if you answer in the affirmative!

I'M ACTUALLY DEFENDING JOE BIDEN!

Yes, Vice President Biden appeared to nod off for a few seconds during President Obama's exercise in bloviation yesterday. But there may be an excellent reason for the Vice President's sudden lapse into dreamland that has nothing whatsoever to do with the quantity (43 minutes) and quality (beyond boring) of the President's speech which was - in the final analysis - more campaign speech than explanation of proposed budget cuts.

If the Vice President snores, and only his wife Jill can answer that one or at least I presume so, then he needs to undergo a sleep study which may or may not detect the presence of a condition called sleep apnea which so disturbs the quality of a person's sleep to the point that they are virtually narcoleptic! If in fact the VP does have this condition, then it's easily dealt with. He will need to sleep with a CPAP machine that helps him to sleep more restfully and safely and has the added benefit of quieting the snoring as well!

I have one, use it nightly and sleep quite well as a result.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH - EVEN IF YOU'RE STUPID!

When I tell entertainers and performers to shut up and sing, I mean it in an instructive and helpful way. I don't mean to limit or in any way threaten their freedom of speech. I just am asking them to engage some brain cells before doing so.

Why should we listen to instruction on anything from high school dropouts? Maybe we should listen to some who have actually worked for a living - but a Hollywood pinhead? Please! Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone - all of them feel free to tell Americans how to live, while living lives that are wildly self-indulgent, profligate and altogether unhealthy in some form or fashion. Mr. Penn is famous for his ungovernable temper. Ms. Sarandon maintained a liaison with Mr. Robbins for many years without benefit of town or gown and brought children into the mix. Now before people start calling me a blue-nosed old biddy (I am one and proud of it), let me refer you to studies that have shown that children raised within a stable marriage fare better throughout their lives than those who grow up with single mothers or unconventional domestic arrangements. FATHERS ARE important, despite what the armpit-hair bedecked grimlocks of NOW will try to tell you!

Of course Hollywood celebrities are not the sole offenders. There's Nancy Pelosi, the left-wing harridan that the Democrats seem unable or unwilling to move to the back of the bus, despite her epic fail as Speaker of the House! But then, we don't expect wild intelligence from the Dems these days. They seem to think they can govern via invective, snark and generalized fear-mongering! They specialize in below-the-belt and other formerly unheard of putdowns of those who DARE to oppose them. What's up with that?

Apparently, if you lack a coherent and reasoned response to a challenge of your policies, it's okay to respond with trite and tired canards, shrill imprecations against the very freedom upon which they most rely - freedom of expression. There's a lot of "If you say it enough, it might become so" in their locutions. Such as "The Tea Party is discredited" to which I reply in the words of my dear friend Joyce "Bullshit" and onward I move.

I'm tired of the rhetoric. Tired of the lies. Tired of the politicians. Just everyone, everywhere in political life, shut the hell up just for one month!

IT'S THE LAW OF THE LAND, FELLAS!

Of late, there have been rumblings about the reading of the U.S. Constitution before each session of the House of Representatives. Many of the Democrats in the House are opposed to the continuation of this practice. They have said they consider it "silly" and other words to that effect. Really?

Gentlemen, let me educate you. The U.S. Constitution is the supreme law of this land. Moreover, it is what you swore to "preserve, protect and defend" when you took your oath of office at the beginning of the term.

Apparently the Democrats in Congress (and probably a fair number of Republicans) consider the Constitution to be irrelevant and antiquated. It isn't. It also isn't a "living document" as some of you have opined. What it is is the absolute authority of what you as legislators may and may not do vis-a-vis the making of laws in this nation. So instead of devoting your leisure time reading to the latest Party talking points (and this applies to BOTH parties), you might be educated by reading with care the document that most clearly and specifically defines your parameters as legislators.

Furthermore, most of you should know this document by heart - or at the very least, pretty intimately. Most of you are attorneys by education and training and really should know better. But then I guess most of you were front and center at courses that dealt with hourly billing rates and the like and often recovering from a night on the town when it came to Constitutional Law courses!

Shame on you!