GRAND PRIX OF FIGURE SKATING FINAL

First, sincere condolences to Mao Asada of Japan. She worked really hard to qualify for this competition, only to have to return to Japan on Thursday to rush to the bedside of her dying mother. Unfortunately, she was too late and her 48-year-old mother was deceased before she could get there. Those of us who have lost our mothers - at any age - all feel for this tiny little person of enormous talent!

Ice Dancing: Notice how I'm restraining myself, kids! YES! Davis and White put on a magnificent pair of programs, both the short dance and the free dance and won the gold medal over their training partners AND rivals, Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue. The technical content of the Davis/White duo was absolutely stunning! Not that Virtue and Moir are stumble bums by any means! It was a good night for ice dancing.Now it's on to the various national competitions in January and then on to the World's in Nice, France (nice venue if you can get it) in February or March.

Men's: Canada's world champion withstood a fall on a triple Lutz and other missteps in his free skate to defend the Grand Prix Final title he won last season. "My training really helped me today," he said. "I had difficulty at the start of the program, and that is where training kicks in. You have to stay concentrated on your plan."Daisuke Takahashi had his finest free skate in recent memory to climb to second after placing fifth in the short. The Japanese skater just edged out Spain's (!) Javier Fernandez, who hit two different quads in his free skate and won bronze and was, in a word, spectacular! And quite adorable.

Pairs: Savchenko and Szolkowy and Volsozhar and Trankov gave the judges very little to choose between, since they both hit every jump, twist lift and throw in their programs, while performing with remarkable intensity and style. In the end, the German pair (and two-time World Champions) won, while the Russians took the silver and the Chinese settled for the bronze. The winning margin between gold and silver was 3/10s of a point! I doubt I was the only one who gasped at that!

Ladies: Carolina Kostner deservedly won the gold medal with an equally worthy Akiko Suzuki coming in second. Alissa Czizny of the U.S. was skating on an ankle that had been injured in the pre-competition practices. It was the "landing" leg ankle and the pain she was experiencing was evident in both her skating and her lovely face. Two Russian ladies were also in the final - both of them skated sloppily as the Russians frequently do. They think drama outweighs technical excellence over there. It doesn't.

GRAND PRIX SERIES - CUP OF CHINA

It was an interesting competition. The Russian ice dancers (they are so over the top I didn't bother to learn their names) came in first, but are totally unfit to compete on the same ice as Davis/White and Virtue/Moir. They barely defeated our own Shibutani siblings who were excellent.

The men have decided (or felt compelled) to put multiple quads into their programs. This led to a somewhat sloppy competition with a lot of butts hitting the ice and the winner, Jeremy Abbott of the U.S. ending up winning because other than his stumble on the quad at the beginning of his program, his skate was lyrical and lovely.

The Russians are making a big push to stick their toes back under the table in the pairs competition. The Chinese are finding that to be a non-starter. Good for them.

There weren't a lot of dark roots but plenty of dirty skate laces to be seen. Could my bitching be having an effect? Naw....!

SKATE AMERICA RECAP

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Davis and White, the first ever American ice dancing World Champions, won this event. However, it is the way they won it that is totally remarkable. Their two programs were impeccable and their skating was phenomenal. One of the ways in which you can determine the quality of an ice dancer's skate is the sound. Actually, it's the lack of sound that is remarkable. You see, ice dancing is a game of edges and when you are truly on your edges there is no sound - which tells the judges that you are doing it right. Davis and White are largely silent on the ice and the one point in the program where there was any sound - it was almost impossible not to make a sound because Charlie was changing edges! So congratulations on your 22 point victory!

The female champion, Alissa Czizny (of Bowling Green, Ohio) was composed, confident and excellent in both her technical and presentation values. The little girl who always looked like she wasn't sure she'd manage two programs is gone and in her place is a strong, skilled and gracefully wonderful skater who truly represents her 2011 U.S. Championship status well!

Michal Brezina of the Czech Republic won the men's title - although I think the others lost the title more accurately. His skating doesn't really do a thing for me but it's nice to see another country in the mix!

Savchenko & Szolkowy of Germany won the pairs title. Would someone please do something about her hair and get her a touch up before competitions? Her stringy, thin, fly-away hair contributes nothing, although their skating is fairly good.

Finally, my annual rant - dirty skates, dirty dirty laces, dark roots and some costumes that looked more Halloweenish than anything else! What can you say? The best outfits were sported by the Americans - Charlie White was born to wear a tux!

WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS ROUND-UP

In the ladies' competition there was a lot of butt-ice collisions and in the end, the not-very-exciting but always reliable Miki Ando of Japan won the World Championship for the second time as a result of her very steady performance. The exquisite YuNa Kim of South Korea placed second. Our ladies didn't do very well, although Alissa Czisney did manage to eke out a 5th place finish. When is this young woman going to understand how remarkably talented she is and quit skating with a look of bewilderment on her face. Yes, dear, you DO deserve to be there! Miki's victory was a big shot in the arm for the beleagured nation of Japan.

THE BIG NEWS, the absolutely fantastic news is that Meryl Davis and Charlie White of the United States made history by becoming the first American ice dancers to EVER win the World Championship. And they did it by outskating in every way their off ice friends and on ice rivals, Virtue and Moir of Canada. The real thrill was the fact that there were TWO American pairs on the medal stand, since the team of Alex and Maia Shibutani of Canton, Michigan, trained by the same coaches as Meryl and Charlie and Tessa and Scott and yet skating in a completely different style than their training mates, placed third in the world in their FIRST World Championships. This brother and sister team are the real deal. They have the edges, the musicality, and the grace and strength to stand them well in coming years! You'll continue to hear good things about all three of these couples since they all are planning - at the moment - to stay in competition until the Olympics in Russia, three years hence.

All in all, it was a great championships.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS - CONTINUED

I've been watching the ice dancing short dance portion livestreamed on Icenetwork and am seeing something in my beloved ice dancers that is ticking me off, bigtime!

Lots of dark roots for a starter. DAMMIT you are competing in the WORLD figure skating championships. Get a touch-up ladies (and some gentlemen)! And if anyone should not have dirty skates or laces, it's ice dancers. It's the elegant discipline, you lazy people! I shouldn't be hearing your skate blades, nor should I be seeing "schmootz" on your skates. Did you know there's this thing called soap . . .?

WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS

After a fairly substantial delay, the World Figure Skating Championships are taking place in Moscow. They began yesterday and will continue through Saturday. So far two champions have been crowned: Patrick Chan of Canada is the new Men's champion and from Germany, the Pairs champions are (I know I'm going to mess this up) Robin Szolkowy and Aliona Savchenko! I hope I got their names right because aside from my usual carps about dark roots and dirty laces (both of which they have been known to display - her, not him) they were remarkable in their programs over the two days of competition. The Chinese pairs team of Pang and Tong skated a remarkable, utterly dreamlike short program that left you uncaring as to what technical points had been ticked off the list, their program was so ethereal and emotional. I know - from a CHINESE pair! These two are engaged to be married and that feeling came through. But bottom line, the German pair is absolutely first-rate and they deserved their victory. The second place finish of the Russian pair was a surprise. They both competed with other partners in the past and have only recently come together. They were spectacular - there is no other word for their skate! However, my one caveat is that I believe they are coached by the odious Irina Rodnina, a nasty bitch if ever one has inhabited the world of figure skating (I don't even BEGIN to qualify for the title). She is the one, when competing, who changed male partners whenever one of them had romantic interests elsewhere. And when Randy Gardner suffered a serious groin pull during the Olympics, she attributed the pullout from competition of Tai and Randy to FEAR of facing her and her partner in the competition! Even if you think something like that, it is highly unpolitic to SAY it. Four-star bitch of all time, that's my opinion of her!

Patrick Chan is a delightful skater, sparkling eyes, great technique, wonderful personality on the ice, consistent and entertaining - the whole package. And I'm so happy for Canada. They don't get credit for the great skaters they produce nearly enough!

WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS

Showing predictable class, the International Figure Skating Union has postponed (possibly canceled) the World Figure Skating Championships, which were scheduled to begin next Monday in Tokyo.

As far as can be determined, the Japanese figure skating team is in good health and training elsewhwere and one would hope that eventually the postponed competition will take place.

God bless everyone who is showing such grace and class during this difficult time for Japan. And again, God bless each and every citizen of Japan. They are in our prayers.

SCREW POLITICS JUST FOR THIS AFTERNOON!

Here's a performance by Paul Wylie that will absolutely blow your socks off. I know it blew mine off!

Paul Wylie was the unrecognized treasure of American figure skating for many years until he shocked everyone by winning a Silver Medal at the 1992 Olympics! He an intelligent man and, I might add, he has one of the cutest . . .well, you get my drift! And together with Scott Hamilton, Alexei Yagudin and Kurt Browning he has the greatest feet in the figure skating world! To this day. Just watch those and you'll be astounded.

Anyway, enjoy! At least I won't be ranting about his dark roots or dirty skates, eh?

JOHNNY WEIR REVISITED

I freely confess to being particularly critical of Johnny Weir over the years for what I perceived as his flakiness and lack of focus. I have, however, just finished reading his new book and I think I have a newfound appreciation of his enormous talent and the struggles he has endured (and yes, some of the flakiness as well). I started to appreciate the sweetness of his personality when he was a judge on "Skating with the Stars" and I was impressed by how genuinely nice he tried to be.

However, I must say that young Mr. Weir is instantly redeemed when I revisit this program on YouTube. The young man (and he is still quite young) has more raw talent in his little finger than 98% of the male skaters in this world.

LAST WEEKEND

I watched the U.S. Figure Skating championships which took place in North Carolina. I don't know if it was the beautiful scenery of North Carolina, the inate courtesy of the North Carolinians, or the fact that it is the first post-Olympic year, but honestly, the entire event was beautifully conducted. And the results turned out to be unexpected in many categories.

First, the Ladies' event was totally delightful. The enchanting Alissa Czisny recaptured her U.S. Championship, last won in 2009. Last year's champion, Rachel Flatt placed in the top 3 largely on the strength of a passionately skated short program that wowed me, the audience AND the judges, and Mirai Nagasu did her usual and blew her lead from the short program. But the main thing was, it wasn't a stumble fest the way it was last year. Everyone skated clean with very few exceptions.

Ryan Bradley, one of my favorite skaters, captured his first Men's Championship and two complete unknowns shared the podium with him. The tediously boring Jeremy Abbott placed 4th and good riddance. Sorry but I just don't "get" Abbott. Bradley is fun and technically brilliant and did I mention, he's fun!?

Ice dancing offered no surprises - Meryl Davis and Charlie White took their 3rd title in a row and they earned it by skating brilliantly. However, they are now being pushed by their training mates the extraordinary Shibutanis. This brother and sister team are the future of American ice dancing and based on what I saw in both the short and long programs, it's a rosy future indeed! And unlike some of the competitors in this discipline, their skates were clean and their laces immaculate! I find the dirty skates, dark roots and dirty skate laces particularly offensive when you consider that this was the Russian gold standard not all that long ago!

Pairs skating boasts a new championship pair. Coughlin and Jankowskas are excellent technically and emotionally. But baby girl, scale back a little on the false eyelashes! You look like you cannot see!

BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D MISS IT!

My annual rant about the figure skating competitions.

First, lots of dark roots to be seen. If you are going to go blonde, then keep it up! How difficult is that concept?

Second, lots of filthy skates and dirty skate laces to be seen. No. No. No. You must respect yourself and your appearance as a part of respecting your sport. Put in clean, fresh laces before a competition (thereby, as a bonus, possibly preventing a broken lace during the actual event) and make sure that you have polished your boots and in other ways refreshed the appearance of the soles and heels of the skate boot. It's simple cleanliness and should be considered as part of the overall presentation mark.

Third, costuming does not have to contain every sequin available in the known world! Tone it down some. Aside from the tacky factor involved in over-sequining your costume, there's the danger to other skaters. Those puppies cause falls and it is irresponsible to make the ice unsafe for others! Check your skirt length so that your partner doesn't end up tripping on an overly lengthy, overly flowing skirt! It has happened to one pair twice already in the same competition. That is avoidable error folks!

If you have only a 50% chance of landing a jump, don't include it in your program. The sight of your butt hitting the ice isn't one to which I look forward! The best competitions are the ones in which everyone skates cleanly and to the best of their abilities. Then the BEST man wins - not the last man standing!

JOHNNY WEIR - DUMBSHIT!

On the Wendy Williams show a couple of weeks ago, Johnny Weir managed to make a total ass of himself by labeling Evan Lysacek with a sexist slur. Considering that Evan Lysacek has skated rings around him in their last few meetings, perhaps the young man(?) ought to keep his snarky, bitchy little mouth shut.

I was starting to thaw a bit vis-a-vis Mr. Weir but now he has proven himself to be a nasty little infant, substituting vile verbiage for actual on the ice competitive performance! You have become a snippy little queen, haven't you?! Shame!

True competitors don't say the kinds of things you find it necessary to say, Mr. Weir. They are demeaning to yourself and to your sport. Perhaps it would be a good thing if you'd just shut up and go away and pursue your swishy little projects out of my sight and hearing! First of all, nobody cares. Second, all that you've said smacks of poor loser whining and who wants or needs to hear that crap? Seriously, Johnny. Shut the hell up!

CONGRATULATIONS TO

SOUTH KOREA!

The luminous Yu-Na Kim blew away the competition last night by a substantial margin, in the process setting a new world record for ladies' skating! Mao Asada won the silver and Joanie Rochette (who deserved, I think, silver) actually won the bronze!

The big surprise last night wasn't that Yu-Na Kim won - it was the SHEER SIZE of her win! The other surprise was the lively little 16-year-old Mirai Nagasu who placed a very, very respectable 4th place! Well done. Both American skaters were there to gain experience but in the process they accomplished a great deal more. Both Nagasu and Flatt, ages 16 and 17 respectively, showed the world what it's like to see two young women skate with joy and freedom! And, in the process, earning us additional skaters at the world championships some time in the future! That's a very big deal.

So that puts my percentage at 50% for my early predictions. Weathermen don't do as well so I guess I should be satisfied with that, eh?

I keep saying it over and over again - one jump does not a program make! Plushenko has learned that [hard] lesson and now Asada has done so as well! My final word to all the skaters is that they should follow the example of Lysacek and Kim and run through their programs several times daily in practice. Muscle memory can be a remarkable thing! And take you through some nervous moments and help you recover from an occasional butt-meets-ice moment!

And to finally answer a question everyone keeps asking - why do the women post lower scores than the men - it's pretty simple. Men have no HIPS and rotate in the air much faster and thus can do triple axels as if they were nothing (the forward takeoff is a real obstacle to success for many) and quads are much easier for them. That's why the first women doing triples - and eventually quads - will likely be girls of Asian heritage!

The Anchoress has more here.

COURAGE!

Courage was visible on Olympic ice last night in the person of a 23 year old young woman, dressed in sequins and skating the program of a lifetime, despite the death of her mother 2 days previously. And she skated brilliantly, ending up in third place surpassed only by the incandescent Kim YuNa and the triple jump diva Mao Asada. While I am absolutely certain that the Gold will be won by Kim YuNa, I would be so stoked if ultimately the Silver goes to Joanie Rochette.

This was a true Olympic moment - not a quest for self-aggrandizement (are you listening Yvgeni Plushenko and Maxim Shabolin?) or national glory. This was a well-trained and talented athlete fulfilling a dream she shared with her late mother on the biggest stage of all. If you weren't in tears watching it, you aren't human.

Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of last night's skating performance by Rochette is that she worked very, very hard to not milk the emotional impact of her skating and that the Canadian audience absolutely went berserk when she stepped onto the ice and after she skated as well they should have done.

I was touched, moved and ultimately cheering for Joanie Rochette. She won't win gold but she has already won the respect and admiration of an awful lot of people.

I have also learned enormous respect and admiration for our two skaters, Rachel Flatt and Mirai Nagasu. Rachel skates as though she's on her home rink just flying around - she is as solid as a rock and as dependable as one. There's no evidence of nerves or self-doubt. And her technique and execution - while still a little rough around the edges - displays a confidence and security that is rather remarkable, given her relative youth. Mirai Nagasu, plagued by a nosebleed part way through her program, still managed to power her way through the adversity with style, skill and charm. She has a bright future in this sport. Both our skaters are in the final group and that is both a surprise and a pleasure to me. They won't win, although I wouldn't mind it if Rachel Flatt edged Mao Asada off the podium! (Can you tell I do NOT like Mao Asada - who, like Plushenko, seems to think that one jump should entitle her to victory - pfui!).

MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE RUSSIAN WATER!

The definition of "poor sport" in the dictionary must have Yvgeni Plushenko's picture next to it. Now this raving asshat has awarded HIMSELF a platinum medal for his Olympic program as skated.

Yvgeni you are making a fool of yourself and you are ruining the reputation of a very nice guy - yourself - by your nonsense! Look at the score sheet, lad, and you'll see that you and Evan Lysacek both got the same "components" (artistry) scores. However, his grade of execution surpassed yours and you really should sit down and take a look at a recording of your long program - the scratchy and wildly out of control landings to jumps that should be simple for you to perform. Your stamina sucks, Yvgeni. Unlike skaters who run through their programs - both long and short - multiple times every single day, 365 days of the year for 4 long years, Russian athletes tend to work on carefully selected specific portions of their programs. If that's how you want to train, so be it. But don't whine when your lack of stamina makes it necessary for you to "front load" a program, thus sacrificing the 10% bonus points on jumps performed in the second half of the program. The ISU rules were enacted so that skaters were forced to perform a complete program that included jumps, spins, and connecting footwork. Those are the rules, kiddo. If you chose not to abide by them, you have only yourself to blame.

You screwed yourself out of the gold medal, Mr. Plushenko. Now stop babbling and whining and generally making an ass of yourself and behave like the champion we all thought you were after the Torino Olympics. You are the father of a young child. Don't you think you should be showing him a good example of grace under adverse conditions? Don't you think you should quit trying to denigrate and degrade a victory for Evan Lysacek that was earned by his hard work and dedication. He was and is the best conditioned athlete at these games. And he has never uttered one derogatory word about you and that graciousness on his part only emphasizes what a dickweed you are showing yourself to be. Guess what, Russian skaters do not have a divine entitlement to anydamnthing. You have to earn your medals, just like anyone else! Knock off the crap, kiddo. You're only hurting yourself.

SORE LOSERS ONCE AGAIN!

And once again - it's the Russians (to the surprise of absolutely nobody). Domnina and Shabolin came in third. I was quite pleased by this outcome since I am convinced that they have always been overrated and received extra credit simply for being Russians. Shabolin said they skated their absolute best and "only came in third" (I'm sure Belbin and Agosto would be delighted to relieve you of your bronze medal since you value it so lightly) You ignorant whelps - you are only good enough to win third! Virtue and Moir skated incandescently and what they were doing was - contrary to the sour grapes of the 5th place Italians - exquisite dancing with technical excellence!

These whining little babies don't seem to understand that those honors are not theirs by divine right. You have to EARN the damned things.

And on the plus side, the very gracious losers - Davis and White and Belbin and Agosto - were fulsome in their praise of Virtue and Moir. Now that's what sport is all about!

YVGENI PLUSHENKO -
SORE LOSER!

Plushenko started trash talking Evan Lysacek long before the two men took the ice in the men's long program. He has continued to do so since winning the Silver Medal to Lysacek's Gold Medal and that's just wrong.

Plushenko and his team ignored the rules of the long program skate, believing as they did that the competition was about ONE JUMP and front loading the program with jump after jump after jump and incorporating no connective steps of any consequence and leaving multiple points on the table by doing damn-all during the second half of his program. The only person he has to thank for his Silver Medal is himself for being so arrogant as to assume that he could just "show up" and win. Evan Lysacek has worked hard, day after day, for 4 years since the last Olympics, honing his craft and devleoping his skills.

One of the principle differences between the two men is stamina. Lysacek has run through both his programs day after day after day throughout the season. He has run through them multiple times daily - from start to finish. Typically, Russian practice is to run through parts of programs but they seldom, if ever, do full run-throughs. That may well be why Plushenko front-loaded his program. He knew he'd have nothing left for the second half and filled the time by mostly "screwing around" and mugging for the judges! Anyone who has followed skating has noted that typically Russian skaters do have a stamina problem in the second half of their programs. Viktor Petrenko, as delightful as he is, had that problem; so too did Alexei Urmanov!

So shut the hell up Yvgeni. I love you a lot and think you're a brilliant technician. But a good loser you are not. Lysacek has been gracious and complimentary to you ever since justifiably beating you for the Gold Medal! It's time that you learned a second lesson from this truly great champion.

I'VE NEVER BEEN SO GLAD TO BE WRONG!

For all his trash talking, Yvgeni Plushenko had to settle for the Silver Medal in Men's figure skating at the Olympics on Thursday night.

It was Evan Lysacek's night - and in my estimation Johnny Weir's night as well. I have never seen either of them skate with the magnificence that they both displayed on the ice. Evan's skate was majestic and balanced with technical precision and artistry. Johnny Weir was a technical powerhouse and his artistry was brilliant throughout; I am upset with the judges that they didn't recognize and reward Johnny's brilliant skate. But somehow I think that putting that program out for all to enjoy meant quite a lot to him - maybe almost as much as winning would have done. At least I hope so.

Yvgeni - it isn't like the old days - you didn't get marked on reputation and your program - 2 minutes of jumps and 2 minutes of screwing around, wasn't well thought-out and in this instance, you were ill-served by either your own ego or your coach's lack of foresight.

So congratulations to Evan Lysacek and thank you for proving me wrong. I enjoyed every minute of it!

Daisuke Takahashi won the bronze and should receive a courage award since he came back from some major injury to achieve his victory.

All in all - a good night of men's figure skating!

LAST NIGHT HE STARTED TO MAKE ME
LOOK LIKE A GENIUS!

Then Plushenko, having skated brilliantly, started in on his bullshit gamesmanship, giving Evan Lysacek a hard time because he doesn't have a quad included in his programs. Yvgeni, just shut the hell up and SKATE!

I have predicted you as the Gold Medal winner, and I'm not alone. But you keep running your mouth the way you do and you'll be booed on the medal podium! Not wise for future earnings potential lad.

Note to both Evan and Yvgeni: Shave dammit!

Johnny Weir skated exceptionally well and doesn't seem to be in it for anything other than self respect and national pride. But nevertheless, it was great fun to watch him "rock the tassel". I don't believe I'm saying this, but I am very hopeful that he will be on the podium. I doubt it will happen, but I'd like to see it!

THAT'S ONE!

With a slightly flawed skate that was still brilliantly executed in almost every respect, my picks, Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao won China its first pairs figure skating medal last night! The program was brilliantly planned, placing two of the most spectacular elements, the throw jumps in the second half of the program where they would earn a 10% bonus, which I suspect was the margin of victory!

The Russians, sore losers as always, stomped out of the rink in disgust after their pouty little pair failed to achieve the podium.

The second Chinese pair won the Silver and the Germans (my favorites in any other year and absent Shen and Zhao) won the Bronze.

Now on to the next event! I understand the people in Yvgeni Plushenko's camp are whining about his scheduling for the short program. Where have they been. It doesn't matter where you are scheduled to skate and in which group. Your performance is judged on its own merits and frankly, although I have predicted he will win the gold, Plushenko should have more faith in his own skill! And should get his cute little ass off to the barbers and get a decent haircut. That littel Dutch boy look is passe!