HERE FOLLOWS A LIST OF THINGS THAT CHAPPED MY HIDE IN 2005:

* The very strong scent of antiCatholicism constantly wafting through the air, escalating with Tina Brown’s smarmy and contemptible column in the Washington Post, a/k/a Pravda on the Potomac, upon the election of Pope Benedict and culminating at year’s end with the despicable so called comedy, The Book of Daniel. But I reserve a fair share of my opprobrium for the Catholic Church itself which never INSISTS that respect be shown. If this show was about Muslims, it wouldn’t have made it onto the air, so strident would the hue and cry have been and from the same bubbleheads who think The Book of Daniel is just so cutting-edge and cool. I swear to you, there should be proof of reasonable IQ before these people are permitted to open their stupid mouths.

* Howard Dean: every time he opens his mouth he gives new meaning to the word paranoid schizophrenic, with psychotic tendencies! I also think that if HoHo Dean didn’t exist, the RNC would have to invent this fool! I recently saw him described as a sh*t throwing howler monkey which I thought was too benign.

* Jay Rockefeller: The Village Idiot and a seditious,if not treasonous, one at that! If ever there was proof that the gene pool dilutes as new generations arrive, this man is it!

* Most Defeatocrats in Congress: Murtha, Kennedy, Pelosi, etc. There is a well known saying: lead, follow or get out of the way. Since there is precious little leadership emanating from the Dems in Congress and they seem incapable of following anything or anyone rational, then they all ought to get the heck out of the way. Perhaps we can assist them with this during the midterm elections in 2006. Republican, some of YOU folks from the leadership on down need to strap on a set as well.

* Chris Matthews on general principles and because he so deserves any amount of contempt we can muster.

* The impotence of the Iraqi courts to force Saddam Hussein to show up and shut up at his trial! Can we all say glass booth and shackles?

* John McCain for giving me whiplash every time he opens his mouth. In his insatiable drive to be president of the United States, he changes his positions and opinions so often that I understand why John F. Kerry was so anxious to have him as a running mate. Why do I keep getting this picture of the two of them side by side, eyes spinning counterclockwise?

* France and Germany. Enough said!

* George Clooney and his error filled film about Edward R. Murrow and the entire McCarthy era. Mr. Clooney was at great pains to trumpet his multiple fact checking. Clearly, he doesn’t really understand how that process is supposed to work. Note to Mr. Clooney: Just checking the facts isn’t enough. YOu then need to INCORPORATE the truth resulting from that fact check into your movie. It is a source of constant embarrassment to me that you were born in Ohio. Most Ohioans are smarter by far than Mr. Clooney.

* To all “celebrities” everywhere who believe that their ability to regurgitate lines written for you by other people, to sing songs written by other people, or because you dress like a cheap slut despite the fact that you have INHERITED tons of money gives you a right to tell ME how to think or believe, just SHUT UP. You are not intelligent, you are not learned and you make a fool of yourself every time you open your mouths. I have no respect for people who “feel” things should be a certain way. THINKING solves problems, not feelings.

* My friend Andrea put it best. Mariah - either take off some weight or buy some clothing that fits. You are looking WAY too flanky these days.

* Hillary Clinton – no matter how many times you try to repackage yourself to be palatable as a presidential candidate, the truth is you are as unqualified as you are unprincipled. You may be reelected as Senator from New York but New York isn’t the United States of America. You cannot and will not be permitted to be the first female POTUS. You’d be amazed at how many Democrats share my views on this subject. And Hillary: word to the wise, when people criticize something you’ve done, they aren’t criticizing an entire CLASS of women. Hill Baby: YOU are the one who lost billing records, YOU are the one who made an obscene amount of money on a questionable cattle futures investment, and you are the one who has so little self respect that you stay married to a philandering, lying serial rapist for purposes of your own political gain. In my eyes, that makes you the most DANGEROUS woman in America. I know you aren't the most intelligent woman in America because I have NEVER seen you at the meetings.

* The secularists, one and all, who tried once again to ruin Christmas for the 94% of us who profess to believe in God. Here’s the deal – read the Amendment. All that it says is that no law shall be made regarding the “establishment” of a religion. Nothing whatsoever is said about this country being devoid of religious beliefs. In fact, an openminded study of the history of the times will clearly inform you that none of the Founding Fathers ever intended this to be anything other than a faithbased country. And to he producers of that lovely new show, The Book of Daniel, you WILL be hearing from us soon. In large numbers.

* While it is not politically correct to say this, to those immigrants who want to impose the standards and customs of their former countries on ours, I have only one thing to say to you: GET OUT! We do not need or want you in our country. If it was so peachy keen where you came from, why the hell did you leave and impose your sorry selves on US? This is AMERICA you ignorant morons. We speak ENGLISH. We respect each other (at least the vast majority of us do). We do not indulge in honor killings. We do not expect our women to walk 10 paces behind us, nor do we expect them to wrap themselves in burkas. In this country, it is a CRIME to beat up on your wife, your child, your neighbor or any person who happens to incite your enmity. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in our Constitution or Bill of Rights that gives you a right not to be offended!

* If, in fact, you wish our nation and its people some kind of harm (as in “jihad”), bear in mind that we have no sense of humor about such things. We can and will kick your butts. And enjoy ourselves doing so. That is the beauty of the sitting President of the United States. He has no problem aiming a rocket directly at you. More than once. You may think that because we are, essentially, a peaceful people and that we are kind to disadvantaged people in other nations, we are weak. Trust me, we are not. Both Germany and Japan, and more recently the Taliban and Saddam Hussein discovered that to their detriment. And France and Belgium, although they are unwilling to admit it, would be speaking German were it not for us.

* I believe in profiling. Those 19 murderers (let’s call them what they were, folks) were not from Sweden. They were swarthy, Middle Eastern men who had specific behavior models and heavy accents. Checking MY shoes when I go flying is asinine. I’ll admit that at age 63 I’m no great beauty, but even now I sure as hell look better than Richard Reid!

HAPPY 2006!