MEN OF A "CERTAIN AGE"

We have a male boarder in our household. He's in his early 50s and one of the most dedicated skirt chasers I have ever met. He's pathological about it to the point that Linda and I will not give him the passwords to access our computers because he is on umpty million dating sites.

So I'm really asking for both the men and women reading this - what's up with that? Linda has called him a male whore to his face and he denies it - but she pointed out that if a woman had as many one-night stands as HE does - that's what she would be called and fair is fair.

IN PRAISE OF DOGS - WELL 2 DOGS AT LEAST!

I am spending considerable time these days (in the final stages of recuperation) with 2 remarkable animals named Zeus (an 18 month old Pit Bull mix and a total sweetheart of a boy) and Harley (a Corgi mix girl that I describe as my "co-dependent sweetheart") and am gaining a new appreciation for the canines of this world. And yes, before you ask, I am taking tons of vitamin supplements and drinking gallons of water. Adult diapers cannot be far away!

Zeus is a totally lovable, very shy fellow who is quite mellow and laid back. He is now fascinated by Tim the Siamese cat. Last night, much to Tim's nervous consternation, Zeus spent considerable time washing Tim's head and butt! Harley is completely uninterested since she prefers focusing her enormous amounts of affection on ME!

To say that they have been instrumental in my recovery from my recent illness is an understatement. Their constant attention and affection has been most appreciated.

Incidentally, both Linda and Sam have mostly recovered from their recent altercation primarily because I am keeping them separated. Sam is welcome to roam freely when Linda isn't home as long as he is polite to the other animals. I figure that's a necessary first step.

Tim has not lost his feisty little edge either. Yesterday afternoon he caught a fly AND gave Sam a cuff in the face (and didn't SAM look astonished) when Sam hissed at Tim. It was like - "Get over yourself fool!"

So to Harley and Zeus, I love you both and much as I may be a total cat person, there is room in my heart for you guys in perpetuity!

SAM THE CAT IS NOT A HAPPY LAD!

Part of the recent stress emanating from the move is the really, really bad attitude of Sam, my 28-pound, 6 year old Maine Coon cat who is (a) on a diet because he needs to lose 6 pounds and (b) like all cats, he detests change in his environment and this was a big one.

He has been pretty much universally hostile to all around him, to the point of biting Linda on Sunday when she was giving her 17-year old, nearly toothless (well, she has ONE) female cat Gigi a summertime haircut. Gigi was complaining - at the top of her rather loud voice - and Sam apparently decided that she needed protection! Mind you, he doesn't LIKE Gigi but since when does logic apply to a feline, right? Anyway, he flew at Linda who was sitting on the living room floor and bit her! Last night we spent 2+ hours at the hospital emergency room getting the infection in Linda's left arm taken care of! I was in tears from guilt and no small amount of fear for both Linda AND Sam. Just as a point of information, should you ever need it, the most infectious bite is that of a human! Next in line, the cat and only AFTER that is the dog!

Took Sam to the vet this morning to find out if his bad attitude is treatable (it is, thank goodness). They are doing blood work and we'll know tomorrow what level of kitty prozac is required to ease Sam through this transition. Oh yes, and the vet described him as "morbidly obese" - he looked somewhat offended at that and I suspect I did too! I'm now trying to get my back to stop aching (YOU try lugging a 28 pound cat around folks!) and fix myself a very much delayed breakfast!

Here's an interesting piece of information for all y'all - most of the law firms in D.C. require proficiency in both Excel and POWER POINT for their legal secretaries. I'm working on brushing up on both just for fun and profit!

WELL - I'M FINALY BACK ONLINE!

The Monday before the big move I spent about an hour and a half waiting to do a change of address with Social Security! As a result, by the Wednesday OF the move, I was hacking, coughing and generally feeling GREEN! Beloved Linda arrived that night to help me finish packing and to drive with me to Virginia and thank goodness she did because by then, I was almost incoherent with fever and illness.

On the plus side, thanks to paul (who is rapidly becoming a treasure in my heart with his kindness and good sense), I was able to give the man driving my moving truck sufficent money to cover gas (paul calculated roughly how much I would need to give him and he was absolutely accurate). Once everything was loaded, we picked up 2 very sleepy cats at the vets' office and headed out to Virginia with me driving (don't ask what lack of common sense dictated that decision) and of course - we hit rush hour heading out of Columbus because of the delays occasioned by me being so sick. Once we got out of Columbus it was pretty clear sailing and by the end of the trip, Linda and I realized to our delight that my 2003 Impala was getting 40 mpg! Anyway, by the time we arrived I was getting sicker and sicker and ended up with a sinus infection AND (why be half-hearted about such stuff) walking pneumonia. Not to mention one very pissed off big cat Sam who did NOT appreciate being caged up for the long trip.

Today is the first day I'm even halfway coherent and I'm delighted to be so. I'm glad I made the move, grateful to Beloved Linda for her help and patience with my somewhat goony state of mind of late, to Pam, Saundra, Karen, Melodie and Kelly for helping with packing, Michael for driving the truck and everyone at both ends who kept me relatively sane. And friend paul for the good advice.

Anyone who asks, Penske does a damned good job on truck rentals.

I'm going to stay with my dear friend Linda for at least 3-4 months (she's voting for 9 months or so but my cat Sam would be psychotic by then) until I've got my brains tucked back into my head, my job situation peaceful and serene and my life in general back to normal.

And just to rub it in a little - unleaded gas here in Virginia is $2.81 per gallon today!