ENOUGH ALREADY!

The alphabet and cable networks are falling all over themselves with endless blathering about the life, death and significance of Michael Jackson. Here's the honest poop - he wasn't THAT great!

His so-called brilliance at dancing was repetitive and derivative. Much of what he did he copied from others - like Jackie Wilson and James Brown. His singing voice was only mediocre. And his personal life was - to put it mildly - an indefensible nightmare!

The irony of all of this is that his nearly-bankrupt estate will now, like that of Elvis before him, triple in value and thus be worth something to his three children - and does anyone believe that any of Jackson's DNA is present in those three children?

So stop the endless wailing and carrying on. He died from his own self-indulgence, just as Elvis did! Neither deserves to be treated as though they were the "greatest" anything at all. As an all around entertainer, Sammy Davis Jr. beat them both!

THE ACADEMY AWARDS

No I didn't stay up until all hours to watch this festival of self-congratulatory self-indulgence! I did, however, record the entire show (including the overage). Watched it this morning while drinking coffee - 47 minutes, start to finish and saw all the important awards, the In Memoriam section and a bit of Hugh Jackman's antics. He is far too classy to involve himself with that bunch of moronic halfwits in Hollywood!

Queen Latifah, aka Dana Owens, sang beautifully and that portion of the show was lovely. I'm glad that Penelope Cruz won; I'm equally sorry that the rat-faced dimbulb named Sean Penn won again, thus giving him yet another platform from which to trash the country that has given him so much. In no other country would someone of his limited intelligence and volatile (not to say violent) temperament receive the amount of recognition and fame that he has achieved. Sean, I don't give a rat's ass what the Academy says - you just aren't that good!

Anyone with a minimum IQ knew that Heath Ledger was going to win. It was heavily predicted that the beautiful, enormously talented and unassuming Kate Winslet was going to win and I'm delighted those predictions were true.

As to the rest of the show, who gives a flip? A family could live for at least a year on the cost of 1 or 2 of the gowns being sported on the red carpet. And some of them, though clearly expensive, were so f-ugly that it would have been a better use of the money. Seriously Beyonce - what were you thinking? And Miley Cyrus - what the hell were you doing there in the first place, and who dresses you so inappropriately in the second place? Is your stylist aware of the fact that you are 16 years old? And Goldie Hawn - you're over 60 years old! Get a dress that FITS, instead of displaying your hardly significant tatas for all to see. Everyone at the ceremony last night should have taken a lesson from the luminous and ever gorgeous Sophia Loren who still exudes glamor and beauty, despite being a woman "of a certain age". I've never been a fan of Meryl Streep, but she was elegant, dignified and dressed in an age-appropriate yet not dowdy manner.

For me, the best surprise of the evening was that Anne Hathaway can SING? Beautifully.

McCAIN'S "RESURGENCE PLAN"

I don't know how I feel about this plan, but here are some more details on John McCain's Homeownership Resurgence Plan, as provided by the McCain/Palin campaign:

John McCain will direct his Treasury Secretary to implement an American Homeownership Resurgence Plan (McCain Resurgence Plan) to keep families in their homes, avoid foreclosures, save failing neighborhoods, stabilize the housing market and attack the roots of our financial crisis. America’s families are bearing a heavy burden from falling housing prices, mortgage delinquencies, foreclosures, and a weak economy. It is important that those families who have worked hard enough to finance homeownership not have that dream crushed under the weight of the wrong mortgage. The existing debts are too large compared to the value of housing. For those that cannot make payments, mortgages must be re-structured to put losses on the books and put homeowners in manageable mortgages. Lenders in these cases must recognize the loss that they’ve already suffered.The McCain Resurgence Plan would purchase mortgages directly from homeowners and mortgage servicers, and replace them with manageable, fixed-rate mortgages that will keep families in their homes. By purchasing the existing, failing mortgages the McCain resurgence plan will eliminate uncertainty over defaults, support the value of mortgage-backed derivatives and alleviate risks that are freezing financial markets. The McCain resurgence plan would be available to mortgage holders that:

· Live in the home (primary residence only)

· Can prove their creditworthiness at the time of the original loan (no
falsifications and provided a down payment)

.The new mortgage would be an FHA-guaranteed fixed-rate mortgage at terms manageable for the homeowner

The direct cost of this plan would be roughly $300 billion because the purchase of mortgages would relieve homeowners of “negative equity” in some homes. Funds provided by Congress in recent financial market stabilization bill can be used for this purpose; indeed by stabilizing mortgages it will likely be possible to avoid some purposes previously assumed needed in that bill.

The plan could be implemented quickly as a result of the authorities
provided in the stabilization bill, the recent housing bill, and the U.S. government's conservatorship of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. It may be necessary for Congress to raise the overall borrowing limit.

FOLLOW-UP FROM MY FRIEND LAURIE, IN IOWA!

Where is the Iowa disaster coverage? (We take care of our own.)

Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? (We tend to think most of them are asses and don't even want their help.)

Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn't solved the problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks (and trailers) are? (We Iowans, otherwise know as "Iowegians" have neighbors who will put us up. No FEMA or trailers necessary.)

Why isn't the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago?

(We don't want to stay in Chicago... as we'll camp out and help our neighbors at or close to home. THEN we'll take care of our own needs.)

When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines? (Spike Lee doesn't care about all of us, "Crackers" in Iowa and none of us need him anyway, so it's a "wash" hahaaha.)

Where are Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks? (Iowans really don't think much of the Dixie Chicks, since they have been against the very standards we stand for. Seah Penn could come help when he has a few days to haul sand bags. Yeah, righty-o.)

Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big screen television sets? (*Note: There has been some looting reported). (For the most part... looting hasn't crossed most of Iowan's minds... too busy sandbagging and checking on neighbors.)

When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a "vanilla" Iowa, because that's the way God wants it? (Gov. Culver knows Iowans are busy and that they all know, "God helps those who helps themselves.")

Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of cannibalism?

(Iowans are too boring. They work and take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. No time for t.v. right now... besides the new Spears baby is what's most important to those media writers.)

Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people?

(Again.... we're all too busy to care. Have things to do, so let's "get 'er done.")

How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?
(Because we'll have our towns taken care of and on with our lives.)

End of story.

WHAT LAST NIGHT’S EMMY BROADCAST SAYS ABOUT HOLLYWOOD
(but not necessarily about America)

Sally Field, a woman heretofore not known as a rocket scientist, proved that prior assessment to be quite valid when she confused her PRETEND life as the mother of a serving soldier with her REAL life where she has no child in the military - in a mightily bleeped acceptance speech. Please, for the love of God, don't give this dingbat any more AWARDS!

Robert Duvall may have all his marbles, but they weren’t on display during his incomprehensible and endlessly rambling acceptance speech for Best Miniseries. Who even watched it?

Neil Patrick Harris, who is openly gay, embarrassed himself with a leering set of one-liners aimed at Hayden Panatierre, one of the few 18-year olds who isn’t in rehab or running around flashing her crotch. She certainly deserved better despite the décolletage on the gown she was almost wearing sending a message of its own.

The evening abounded with one-liners, double-entendres and generally inappropriately political prattling, bad language and utterly indefensible smut talk and near-miss nudity. Note to Joely Fisher – the fact that you have a new set of implants does not mean that all of America is even slightly interested in nipple positioning!

Does this indict the American television viewer? Perhaps a tiny bit. But more than anything, it indicts the people of the television entertainment industry who display themselves as brainless, witless and wholly lacking in morality or ethics, in conjunction with sufficient arrogance to believe that they actually have some modicum of brains!

What – did you think Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan were isolated incidents?

Final note: These were the TELEVISION awards. Dare one ask why on earth the production was, as usual, lackluster at best?