HOW I SPENT MY THANKSGIVING EVENING!

It seemed like a really good idea on Thanksgiving morning so I called friend Pam and suggested that we go to the Jeffersonville Outlet Mall (about 45 minutes south of Columbus, Ohio) for their Midnight Sale that night. I told her I’d be by at 11 p.m. to pick her up.

I went to visit my dear friend Dotty at the Rehabilitation Center where she is recuperating from some major health issues which included a mild stroke and then on to cousin Linda’s house where her family was gathered for Thanksgiving Dinner.

My cousin and her husband have 6 daughters between them, all but one of whom is married. One of Linda’s daughters lives in upstate New York so she wasn’t there, but all the rest of them were present with their children (3 for each girl, total 12), plus Linda’s sister and her boyfriend and me. A portion of the floor was a occupied by some of the smaller grandbabies playing with Barbies and trucks. Some of the older grandchildren are now, to my delight, quite interesting conversationalists. I must admit, it’s likely that I find their conversation enjoyable because they are, bless their hearts, conservatives one and all! Clearly the result of good parenting!

I got home about 5 p.m. and decided to play with the cats for a few minutes and then take a nap. I was up and out and picked up Pam and her son promptly at 11 p.m., and then the adventure began!

The trip was going smoothly, except that of course there was heavier-than-a-normal-Sunday-evening traffic heading south on I-71 for quite a while. Then it seemed to thin out. Then, about 5 miles before the Jeffersonville Outlet, the traffic stopped altogether! Two lanes worth! Clearly, I had not had an original idea!

We stuck with the debacle for nearly an hour – somehow hoping, I think, that it would thin out. It didn’t. Billy was comfortable with his book in the back seat. Did YOU know you could read by the light of your cell phone? I didn't either - but I suspect that is a skill possessed only by 23 year olds!

Finally, after sitting patiently in this long line of barely-moving traffic, we decided that it wasn’t worth the effort. I know – you would have bailed a lot earlier. Color me stubborn! Actually, Pam had opined that she needed a potty break and I offered to pull off at the rest area - several times. She didn't decide it was urgent until after we were PAST the exit to the rest area.

We managed to slip out of the double line of traffic, still nearly 3 miles distant from the exit. As we drove in the only unobstructed lane heading South, we could see that the outlet mall parking lot was utterly full and that, in fact, people were parking on the frontage road and jumping the fence. Two exits later we found both a Subway (it was now around 1 a.m.) and, more important, a BATHROOM. We fiddled around, eating our subs, and finally started back towards Jeffersonville and then home. As we reached a point roughly 1 mile prior to the Jeffersonville exit, again we could see brake lights and indeed there was a single line – on the highway – of people waiting to exit the freeway. What was more amazing was that just after we passed the exit, we realized that people had parked on the shoulder of the freeway and left their cars there in order to get to the outlet mall. May I just say – THERE IS NO SALE ON EARTH WORTH RISKING YOUR CAR!

As we were nearing the Columbus area, I opined to Pam that I still felt the pangs of “shopping interruptus” and she agreed. So without much consultation, off we headed to Canal Winchester, Ohio – and WAL-MART! The best thing about Wal-Mart is that it’s open 24-hours per day! We arrived at 2:30 a.m. and got it out of our systems!

Happy Thanksgiving, indeed!