Wednesday, September 26, 2007

21 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT!


This has been around several times, but it definitely needs to be repeated.

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,Thomas Edison and A.G. Bell.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens,transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

20. You have to believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not OK to say 'Merry Christmas.'

Last, but not least:

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

2 comments:

Captain America said...

Priceless every time I read it.

Paul said...

1. Nothing wrong with the proposition that the government doesn't have the power to kill its own citizens. Abortion doesn't allow government to do that.

2. Simply not true. We simply believe that a certain amount of regulation is necessary to prevent monopolies from distorting the market, environmental dumpers trying to get a competitive advantage against those who clean up properly, and paying a livable wage to workers so they don't have to go on welfare.

3. Not true, though the fact is more innocent Americans have been killed by law abiding gun toting Americans than Chineses and North Korean Commies to date.

4. I hate art.

5. We believe we can do more about the latter than the former.

6. AIDS is spread by human behavior. Government programs can help prevent its spread.

7. Better her than the kids classmates.

8. Who enjoys killing a deer?

9. Isn't it?

10. Who cares about Mel Gibson?

11. True. I think the second amendment needs to be repealed.

12. You don't agree?

13. Thomas Jefferson was a traitor during the Washington Administration, a farmer who could never make enough money to pay his debts, and a pedophile. You want to worship a founding father, pick Hamilton, Franklin, Washington, or if you must Adams, John.

14. If people studied, they could pass the tests. This is a pet project of the intellectual far left.

15. Don't know her, so I don't believe anything about her.

16. No. Socialism (which has worked very well in Sweden) isn't what you mean. You mean Marxism. It didn't work in Russia because you didn't have a proletariat, because you hadn't had capitalism in Russia before the Novermber Revolution.

17. What?

18. Bestiality isn't constitutionally protected, that's just dumb. Only manger scenes paid for by the government are unconstitutional.