Thursday, July 22, 2010


"Let not your heart be troubled!"

Over Memorial Day weekend this year, I had a truly horrendous attack of diverticulitis. So of course, my doctor, erring on the side of caution, insisted that I consult a gastro-enterologist (which I did - I'm occasionally compliant) and he scheduled me for a colonoscopy - something I have been avoiding for many years, for the patently childish (I admit it) reason that I loathe and despise Katie Couric and she's a big proponent of this procedure for excellent reasons.

Anyway, yesterday was the big day and I was dreading it almost as much as I dread the re-election of Barack Obama in 2012! That is some dread, let me tell you. The preparation for the procedure is ghastly, there are no 2 ways about it. First you have to drink this STUFF that is designed to make the field to be examined as blamelessly clean as possible. It is - to put it mildly - disgusting crap and I'm glad I don't need to have this procedure again for another 7-10 years! In the meantime, someone could make a veritable fortune if they could discover a less foul-tasting substitute for the offensive crud - of which I was supposed to drink an entire gallon! Yuck, yuck and double-yuck!

The disgusting and nearly undrinkable sludge did its job and yesterday, beloved Sis took me to the hospital where I checked in and they proceeded to hook me up to an IV, sedate me and do their little procedure. THAT part of it was absolutely painless - other than the insertion of the IV into my right hand.

When I awoke in recovery, surprisingly bright-eyed and alert, I was given the very good news by Dr. Tribble (who is an absolute sweetheart of a man) that I had only two teensy polyps, probably benign, that he had removed for lab work but as far as he could see, I was in great shape. Also a shout out of praise to Mary Washington Hospital in Fredericksburg, Virginia where I have never had a bad experience. It's a great hospital with a kind and caring staff of professionals.

The whole point of this post is - if you are over 50 years of age or are experiencing some gastro problems, go get this procedure done. Yes, it's unpleasant and yes, it's a tad undignified - but the bottom line is that I am frisking around this morning feeling quite joyous because I now KNOW FOR A FACT that the Memorial Day weekend debacle didn't happen because of some cancerous growth invading my body. I'm 68 years old and occasional flashes of fear of my own mortality visit from time to time! I'm not afraid to die, mind you. I'm mostly afraid to die with a dirty house! In fact, yesterday afternoon I had friend Bobby working away on the front borders and my brick sidewalks, excavating and banishing the weeds that have suddenly grown up there. Time to buy some Round-Up!

So go find yourself a good gastro person and keep your innards ticking over like a well tuned engine! There are rewards to be found there! And you might as well get this procedure done now while health insurance still covers it! Who knows what awaits us in the wonderful world of Obamacare?

UPDATE: Got a call from the doctor's office yesterday morning - no signs of cancer in the two polyps removed. Don't have to do a colonoscopy for another ten years! Whee!

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