WHY I DIDN’T WATCH THE EMMY AWARDS

Of course the primary reason is simple: I get up at 5 a.m. on Monday mornings and staying up until midnight or so just isn’t on my list of things that I should ever do! Second, I am so tired of the fatuous, shallow self-congratulatory atmosphere of the entire show. I did watch long enough to see the luminous and immensely talented Jean Smart win her Emmy. Then the off switch was activated and my butt was in bed.

If the powers that be in television land want to know why people are turning them off more and more frequently, let me opine (it’s my blog – who’s going to stop me):

First, political commentary is not something I am willing to accept from high school dropouts who make their livings regurgitating the words of others. Other than genetic luck in the looks department and perhaps some minor playacting talent (an ability possessed to some degree in most small children), and the luck to be in the right place at the right time, what about the vast majority of them (there are occasional exceptions, of course) would commend them to me as political sages? You’ve got it – not a doggone thing. I am intelligent enough, educated enough and old enough to make up my own mind and your sanctimonious preaching is offensive as hell. Just STFU you brainless twits!

Second, the Emmy awards shows have become ponderous and entirely too lengthy. I confess to using my DVR last night to record the show, but only because I was curious to see Josh Groban’s justifiably anticipated medley of 60 years of theme songs – and since I watched that at 5 a.m. this morning, I felt secure in deleting the rest of the recording.

Finally, what interests a great many of us is what the stars were wearing – and that will be answered quite thoroughly on the entertainment networks and on the internet over the next few days. From what I could see, Tina Fey was going in the right direction but wore a gown that didn’t fit properly (clearly too tight, hence the many horizontal wrinkles). I may be a tad shallow and fascinated by the gowns, but I’ll indulge my silliness in controlled doses, thank you very much.

Current gripe. ABC television launched something called SoapNet several years ago. It was supposed to be devoted to daytime television programming. Can I ask – why are we being bombarded with endless reruns of 90210, third-rate movies and a series called MVP which may be the most overhyped and underwhelming original series any network has ever produced. Meanwhile, shows that DO belong on SoapNet are cancelled – such as the delightfully amusing SoapTalk, One Day With and others. Look ABC, make up your minds. If the network is called SOAPnet – why isn’t it devoted to oh, I don’t know, DAYTIME DRAMAS? You are SO LAME. And then these brilliant programmers wonder why we don’t watch! Duh! And yes, I watch soaps! At least they never have reruns and those are some of the most talented people in the entertainment biz who - amazingly - manage for the most part to keep THEIR political opinions to themselves!